i lost myself since the last time i've logged on to blogger. its pretty unfortunate, really. i could retrace my steps but i still wouldnt know where to look. all i know is that i opened my eyes and saw myself in a position that i never envisioned myself in. i dont know. i'm scared. i'm miserable. i dont know what it feels like to happy anymore. i just need the sun to shine on me one good time and hopefully that'll help.