Monday, May 17, 2010

no thank you

religion is a crutch and i dont need it.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

its not that simple

Smile, though your heart is aching, smile,
Even though it's breaking
When there are clouds, in the sky you'll get by
If you smile, through all fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face, with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness

Although a tear maybe ever so near
Cause that's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worth while
If you, you just smile

Smile, darling baby, smile
Smile by Janelle Monae
beautiful song.
Me @ 9:10: I love you

@ 10:02: No reply

i guess he doesnt love me today...

yes we talked earlier baby but i just need you now

get off my back damn!

yes Grandma, I love him
yes Grandma, i'd rather be with him than with you
and yes Grandma, we fuck!
and there's nothing you can do about it
so shut the fuck up!

(i would never talk to my Grandma this way but i swear i want to just one good time then i'd be satisfied. she just pisses me off on a regular basis. like i really just wish she'd shut the fuck up with her bitchin & beatin around the fuckin bush & just ask me what she thinks she already knows. DAMN!)

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Monday, May 10, 2010

you were gone

i had to take your place
4 kids
including me
i didnt know how to behave
but i had to be brave
hid my tears
behind a smile
but in my eyes
the fears lied
"she's coming back"
"she'll be here soon"
heard knocks at the door
wishing it was you
but it wasnt
my heart dropped to my stomach
"they're here to take us away"
i heard my mind say
but a sigh of relief
escaped my being
couldnt believe
who it was i was seeing
Grandma came to take us
home with her
where we belong
days passed
time moved on
where were you?
you were gone.


1 or 2 people come to mind

you're a great teacher

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

i'll keep trying

remember when i said i had something to tell you but i was nervous? i tried telling you so many times but im just really scared, almost terrified kinda, of your reaction...


wait... i cant..! *drops head* #fail once again... smh

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

thats why i love him

no matter the circumstances, my love never fails to put a smile on my face


my heart hurts

thank her


help wanted

usually, i'd try to hide my vulnerability. i'd refuse to acknowledge that i NEED help, love, attention or simply the fact that im IN NEED.
but right now im putting it out there... I NEED HELP!

"i know i refuse when you ask, but... PLEASE hug me. i cant make it alone anymore."



music captivates.
my soul adheres to lyrics.
i've found my escape.